How you can control your child’s anger by John W Rhodes

How can you help your child control their anger?

The Key
One key in helping your child control their anger is simply by given them the S.T.A.M.P. OF APPROVAL.

S.T.A.M.P. OF APPROVAL – Anger Managment Technique

Stamp of Approval? I know this sounds derogatory, however, it is by given your child, client or student the stamp of approval to be angry it gives you ready access into their “world” their mind to say, simply “Hey, I know how you are feeling or at least have some idea, now let me help you.”
The first step to this Five step anger management approach – STAMP OF Approval in helping the child to control their anger is by asking them to STOP – Tell you why they are upset – Optimistic – Precede On.

S – STOP
To get them to “stop & decrease the emotion of anger” takes practice & patience of course. The first thing you can do is ASK them to stop, don’t tell them, ask them. * One problem that some people have in confronting an angry child or youth is that they what to confront them and let them know that they are in control in a authoritarian way or dictatorship approach, with some this may work, but especially not with the oppositional or defiant or even child who is in the anger zone. Other words if they are not a typical child that becomes angry, be compassionate and get into their world to understand, if possible what they are upset about.

Then immediately ask, “Why are you angry?” even if you are aware of why, ask the question. This allows them to THINK before they explode to the next level. This next step is critical, Open your Ears & LISTEN, while they talk. DON’T TALK, JUST LISTEN. Now feel their hurt, pain, frustration, cognitive processing if they are logical, or irrational, and their expressions of future actions to report any danger if seem to be prevelent. When you just listen, hopefully this creates empathy in the mind of the child that you care about how upset they are.

This questioning redirects their attention, which is a strategy I use often with the children & youth I work with. To ask them to simply “calm down” is not a good thing. Why? because it will make them even angrier because no one seems to understand their feelings according to them, plus calming down want get them what they need, in their eyes, because they are trying to get your attention and be heard.

We must speak to the inner man and not just the outer person of what we see. There are thoughts and struggles the person is experiences, sometimes, things from the past we don’t even know about, so getting them STOP enough to TALK about it, then be OPTIMISITC that this situation is not as bad as they think or that it will be resolved due to the support that is around them or that we are supplying them, then when they feel SAFE they can move on – PRECEDE ON.

John W Rhodes is the author of the book: The Anger Management & Conflict Resolution Technique for Chilren & Youth Made Easy – WIT4LIFE at http://wit4life.net . He is clinical therapist who has worked with children and youth for over 10 years.